What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

There was once a bus conductor in the UK who was constantly stressed—dealing with grumpy passengers, traffic jams, and never enough tea breaks. One day, after a particularly bad shift involving screaming schoolchildren and someone trying to pay with a Tesco Clubcard, he finally snapped. Tragically, his actions led to a terrible accident and several passengers lost their lives. He was arrested, tried, and sentenced to death. But the UK doesn’t have the death penalty anymore—so they deported him to America, where he got a job driving Greyhound buses. Turns out… he hadn’t really learned his lesson. Another incident. More chaos. More deaths. This time, the American courts weren’t messing around. He ends up on death row in Texas. Before his execution, the judge says: “You’ve been sentenced to death by electric chair. May God have mercy on your soul.” And he adds, “And this time, we’re using all the electricity in the prison! That’ll do it!” They ask for his last meal. He says, “Just one green banana.” Odd—but fine. He eats it. They flip the switch… Nothing happens. By law, since the execution failed, he’s released. Few months later—he’s back. Another disaster. Same courtroom. Same judge. This time, the judge slams the gavel: “Death by electric chair—again! And this time, we’ll use all the electricity in the town! That’ll fry you for sure!” Last meal? “One green banana.” They flip the switch… Still nothing. He’s released again. The third time, the courtroom is packed. The judge looks furious. “This time,” he growls, “we’re using every single volt in the entire state! You are NOT walking out of here again!” Final meal? “One green banana.” The warden can’t take it anymore. “Alright, what’s the deal with the green banana? Is it some kind of superfood? Does it stop the electricity or something?” The bus conductor sighs, looks them dead in the eye, and says: “Nah mate… I’m just a bad conductor.”

A thong of them.

Because he did Nazi them coming.

And when they all move out it’s Convlex

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the classroom, and made a small dot on the blackboard. Puzzled, his teacher asked him what it was. "It's a period," replied the boy. "What's so exciting about a period?" she asked. "I don't know," said the boy, "But this morning my older sister was missing one, my mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

You put it in water and if its a girl it sinks and if it floats its 'boy ant'.

You put it in water and if its a girl it sinks and if it floats its 'boy ant'.

Unfortunately, we still don't know the caws.

Two Blokes were walking around the Australian Outback and came across a huge hole in the ground - as wide as a truck and so deep you couldn't see the bottom! One bloke says to the other "Fuck, I wonder how deep that is?" They both look around for a minute and see an old gearbox laying near a tree and decide to throw that down the hole. After a few seconds, out of nowhere a Billy Goat comes charging at them full speed from the tree line! As it neared close enough, they both side stepped and the goat went straight past them and down into the hole! Shocked, they both looked at each other and shrugged it off.. 1 minute later, a Bushman appeared from the scrub and said "Hey, have you blokes seen a Billy Goat around here?" One of the blokes replied and said "Mate! You wouldn't believe it, but a Billy Goat just charged at us and jumped straight down that bloody hole!" The Bushman turned around and said "Nahh nah that's impossible.. I had him tied to a gearbox?!

I said Yes,I'm feeling a lot better now.